The Defenestration of James Potter
by hlf insn insmnc
Summary: Dumbledore has a very good idea. True, it may be termed as 'illegal,' but when it concerns the happiness and futures of two sixth-years, James Potter and Lily Evans, 'illegal' isn't really important, is it? His portraits agree.
1. Defenestration

**A/N: First chapter in what may be a long story! ;D

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The day that Albus had his wonderful idea was a very lukewarm day.

It started out with the regular end-of-term business—helping to coordinate the final feast, overseeing the prospective student lists, dealing with teacher's complaints of summer pranks, and planning his annual vacation to Majorca. Fawkes was looking a bit peaky, which added yet another worry to his mind, and he felt the comings of a cold in his head.

He half-heartedly consoled himself with the fact that there was only a week left of term and that Gryffindor was hundreds of points ahead in the competition for the House Cup. Slytherin was in last place, due to some nasty pranks by some fourth-years, he thought with a gleeful chuckle.

_Shouldn't be having such thoughts_, he sighed. _No house prejudices anymore…at least none that any students can see_.

A tawny owl tapped weakly on his window. Albus opened it and the bird flopped onto the ground, obviously overworked. **Ministry of Magic: Great Britain **was inscribed with green ink on the envelope. _Typical of Cornelius, to not give his owls a bit of rest—but ah, nothing I can do about that. _

Albus slid open the seal and skimmed the letter. It was hardly life-threatening, simply a request with trouble with the Gringott's Goblin Union that Cornelius couldn't handle. He tossed it onto his desk—today was not a good day to deal with the Ministry.

There was a quick rap on the door, and without asking permission Minerva entered. "I ask myself every day why I didn't decide to be a Healer!" she exclaimed as she collapsed into a chair, clearly frazzled.

Albus chuckled. "What did some rascal do today?"

She shook her head angrily. "That Evans girl had better get a hold of those hormones of hers! Though there's no doubt in my mind that Potter didn't bring it upon himself, but—oh!" she finished with an indignant snort.

"What did she do—or may I ask, what did _he _do—this time?"

"Thought it would win over the poor girl to serenade her with a sappy Weird Sisters' love ballad in the second floor corridor before lunch—idiot boy, he's got to learn to be more subtle—and she, quite frankly, got enraged and pushed him out the window! Thank Merlin Pettigrew was there to perform a quick Levitation, and even if the boy hadn't Potter would've just landed in the lake, but still…"

Albus shook his head slowly. "She defenestrated him? Quite cheeky, wouldn't you say?"

This stopped Minerva up short. "Defenestrate—?"

"To push out a window. From fenestra, ae, feminine."

She raised her brows.

"Er—it's Latin."

"Hmm. Well, anyway, a second-year panicked and enacted a homing alarm her worried mother had given her. People in high-risk jobs use them—they automatically call St. Mungo's alert team. They, of course, couldn't Apparate in, so they were forced to repossess broomsticks from Hogsmeade and fly through some more windows—fifteen broken ones to count, including the one Potter had fallen through. Rest assured they weren't happy when they saw it was a false alarm."

"And who are we holding to blame?" Albus asked, unable to hold back a small chuckle.

"Evans, of course, though eyewitnesses swore she hadn't intended him to push him so far. She's waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Choose however many points you wish to dock from Gryffindor, though I'll be giving Potter a good talking-to about the finer points of wooing myself."

"Ah, yes," Albus smiled. "Please, send her up. Just the kind of spice I needed for my day!"

"Oh, and before I leave—have you received the recommendations for Head Boy and Girl for next year?"

"No, must've gotten lost."

"Here's a copy." She procured a sheet from her bag and handed it to him. "We'll need the decision by next Friday."

Minerva briskly walked out as Albus placed the list on his desk. "Potter?" asked the portrait of Lucille Edgemill, who'd clearly just woken up.

"Aye," said the portly image of Sir Willoughby Hullhat. "Tried to sing her a love song, which I can promise you—"

"Didn't go over too well?" she supplied.

The other pictures responded with enthusiastic agreements.

"Pushed him out a window!" came the tiny voice of Everett Twillpit.

"Playing hard to get, I say!"

"Must be. Who'd be able to resist such a man?"

"Can't say… he was downright nasty back before puberty."

"And after!"

"And during!"

This resulted with rounds of laughter from the portraits.

"Still pushing around the odd snake, if you catch my meaning," confided Sir Willoughby, "But can't blame him. Not a bit."

There was a quiet knock on the door, and the room fell silent.

"Come in, Miss Evans!" Dumbledore called, still grinning from the portraits' exchange.

A nervous sixteen-year old girl walked in, shoulders hunched in embarrassment. "Listen, Professor, I really didn't mean to—"

He smiled, cutting her off. "I have no doubt that you contain no violent tendencies. It was simply a normal response to an annoying boy that went a tad wrong."

"If you call being scolded by the Assistant to Associate Director of St. Mungo's in front of half the school as your enemy is regarded as a martyr a tad wrong," she muttered.

"Things could've been much worse," Albus pointed out.

"How?"

"Well, Potter could've gotten wet!"

This elicited a small smile from her.

"Well, defenestrating other students is not included in the handbook, nor is there any precedent—"

"Sorry, sir—defenestrating…?"

Albus sighed. "We must add Latin as a subject. It means to push out of a window."

"Oh. Right."

"As I was saying, as there is no precedent, only my judgment will decide your punishment."

She bowed her head, waiting for the blow.

"I'll say seventy-five points from Gryffindor."

Lily winced. Not as bad as she'd imagined, and she'd really scored some points with her knowledge of brettlebugs in Herbology, so that might be enough to offset that… but seventy-five points! Lily Evans gained points! She let scoundrels like Potter and his Mermaiders lose points…

"However," Albus amended, "I do have some advice for you."

"Ad-advice?"

"Give Mr. Potter a chance. You're letting an image from five years ago blind you to who he truly is now."

"Um… alright. I don't really see him, though, so…"

He smiled. "Just a chance, please."

"Er—sure. This—this won't go on my record or anything, will it?"

"The defenestration?"

She nodded quickly.

"No, I don't believe so, since only infractions of fifty points or above are recorded."

"But mine was seventy-five!"  
"However, due to your extreme open-mindedness about old grudges and enemies, and a promise to improve, I'm awarding you… forty points. I'd say that would do it."

She nodded gratefully. "Thank you, Professor. May I go now?"

Albus smiled. "Of course. Though let me congratulate you on your exemplary marks on the exams you've taken so far this week. You have a bright future."

"Right—oh—well, thanks! Thanks a lot! I'll see you... um… bye! Thanks!" She rushed out the door.

"Madly in love with him," a portrait remarked.

"Made for each other," another agreed.

Albus nodded. "True… very true… she just needs to see it."

"And he needs to get some responsibility," a woman added.

Albus frowned, glancing at the list of prospective Heads for next year.

_Girls_

_Mary York_

_Hewford Pringle_

_Lily Evans_

_Alice Longbottom_

_Boys_

_Remus Lupin_

_Perry Winglepare_

_Will Wherins_

He picked up a blue quill, a gift from the Giants Association for Fairer Hours and Better Wages (GAFHBW, ironically the word for 'impossible' in their language). Without thinking about the implications of his decision, he carefully penned in _James Potter _below _Will Wherins_.

"I do like this scandal!" exclaimed Madame Rose Truflee.

Albus quickly circled Lily's and James's names, blew on them to dry the ink, folded it up and addressed it to the Ministry (who handled the sending of beginning-of-term letters).

"A good day's work," he said quietly to himself.

**A/N: The idea for this came in a flash: why in the world did James Potter, troublemaker extraordinaire, end up Head Boy? If I get a good response, I might continue this into their seventh year (the story of James and Lily through the teachers' perspective). **

**Please review! Constructive criticism (and praise!) welcome.**


	2. We Must Teach Him Subtlety!

**A/N: Short, yes, but never let it be said that I don't update quickly! I just couldn't resist good old Filius...**

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At heart, Filius was a romantic. 

He still thrilled in the wedding announcements of the Daily Prophet, and upon occasion there was even the odd couple whom he'd taught years ago. Just the other day, there was a sweet little article detailing the nuptials of Norma Nottina and Presley Fannian, who only a few years before had been rival Quidditch captains (one from Hufflepuff, the other from Slytherin).

Filius wiped his tearing eye. Ah, how love did overcome prejudices.

He'd met a girl once, a Muggle, just after his final year at Hogwarts, ages ago. He fell in love instantly, and though she was charmed by his magic tricks and short stature, Bob Grennich from Babel's Bagels had more prospects.

It had quite ended any romantic aspirations he may have had.

But life goes on, and Filius soon regarded himself as the prime matchmaker of Hogwarts.

Jonnah Fitz and Trey Naylan? Completely his doing. John West and Briza Halfar? The result of carefully given detentions and a conveniently locked broom closet.

And when Filius received a rather urgent message from Albus over the summer, he knew that finally, there was a real challenge.

_Dearest Filius,_

_I'm sure you've received the list of the new prefects and Heads. While you may be shocked by one of my decisions, I can assure you that young Potter is up to the task. Although it is true he needs some responsibility, my main reason for selecting him is this: _

_Lily Evans._

_We all know they are simply made for each other, and it's quite apparent they need some help. She is hardly open to his advances, and he, as is well known, does not comprehend the word 'subtlety.' _

_I am not as blind as it may seem, Filius. I know who is responsible for John and Briza West, Presley and Norma Fannian, and (who could forget?) Trey and Jonnah Naylan. We must decide a plan of action! Time runs short until the beginning of term._

_I've come up with a few ideas for your perusal, ideas that would necessitate that our Heads be together for long periods of time, working on projects and such. _

_-New greenhouses as the seventh-year's projects? Pomona has been complaining the current one is crowded, and too close to the lake._

_-A winter ball, or perhaps a party, for the older students? _

_Those are all I can come up with at the time, and please tell me if you have any other ideas!_

_As Miss Evans plans to follow Arithmancy and Mr. Potter intends on becoming an Auror, we have only till the end of the year!_

_Ah, what meddling old fools we have become. What better way to distract us from the trials and tribulations of teaching?_

_Yours fondly,_

_Albus_

Filius pondered the letter. Lily Evans had always been one of his best students, true, and she really did need to focus a bit less on her studies. As for James Potter… perhaps Albus was write. Maybe a bit of responsibility would do him good. In fact, he hadn't pulled a prank for a good two months before exams (though of course there was one at the final feast, but who could blame him?).

Yes, finally a real challenge.

And needless to say, Filius Flitwick _never _turned down a challenge.

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**A/N: Always loved Flitwick... good old chap. Review!**

**Next chapter: 'Xyphoid'**

**Try to figure out that one ;D**


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